Please review, edit and grade the following 3 CD responses based on how well each sentence part fulfills our definitions.
Topic Sentences/Statements - You might need to branch out and ADD an extra sentence to fully introduce both the Life List ideas/thematic topics and the specifically answer the question. Grade ____/10 NEW TS definition - Your provable, insightful opinion of a Life List idea that matters without saying “I” and it has a hook that demonstrates you understand the author’s intent. Grade____/10 Quality CDs - Make sure your 2 CDs work together to prove your opinion but don’t simply say the same thing. Grade____/10 CM - Do not simply repeat your CD. Try to look beyond the obvious and share your ability to read between the lines! Grade____/10 CS - Call to action or application of your opinion. Grade____/10 Sample #1 People lie to keep hold of the character traits that they admire, and to distance themselves from any that are looked down upon. As Miss Maudie teaches the children, people should “never take pride in their talents,” which is the foundation of Atticus’ dishonesty (98). Pride leads to selfishness, and Atticus know that selfishness can turn a person into something they aren’t. It can change a person’s viewpoint and their entire outlook on life itself. Cal tells Scout that telling the truth is often times “not ladylike”(128). In order to develop into the young lady society expects her to be, Scout must learn to hold her tongue. The truth can hurt, and proper women are gentle and kind. Mr. Raymond explains that lying is necessary to “give [others] a reason” to explain the person he is (200). He is judged by others on a daily basis, simply because of the way that he lives. To avoid developing anger or hate, he gives them another reason to judge him, one that he can control. Lies prevent people from changing into something that they don’t want to be. TS & Thesis Grade 7/10 CD Grade 7/10 CM Grade 6/10 CS Grade 8/10 Sample #2 Lying is something that occurs in some situations, often for the beneficiary of others and as well as due to previous actions that may lurk one. Both Cal and Atticus lie so that they stay away from an unwanted situation by not expressing their talents, sheltering others as well as the kids from the truth. After Atticus's makes a dead on shot killing a stray dog, Ms. Maudie brings up the fact that, “People in their right minds never take pride in their talents” (130). Scout becomes confused of why Atticus wouldn’t want to share such a large part of his early life and obviously something that he is very skilled at. Atticus however on the other hand is not one to brag about some of his talents. Also after becoming a lawyer, these talents of his were not in dire need of being put into action, leaving Atticus as someone with a skill that doesn’t want much attention. In another point, while Cal is in the middle of a discussion along side Scout and Jem, she emphasizes how, “It's not necessary to tell all you know” (167). This explains how Cal sometimes uses “nigger talk” with her folks while she has the understanding of how poor that language is to others. Along side Atticus and his precise shot, Cal keeps her “at home” language at home so that she doesn't attempt to effect the other families and kids around her. In another case, when Dolphus appears to always be drunk but, when he asks Dill if he wants a sip, he takes it and proclaims that, “it’s nothing but Coca-Cola” (267). Dolphins is married to a black woman and has been running from many people of this situation for a long time. The appearance of him being an alcoholic gives reason to being married to black woman and having mixed kids. This is just a hidden secret along side Cal and Atticus to shelter the ones around them so that they do not become anything of a poor example. People have the tendency to lie about some talents and skills they posses in the attempt to not stand out and have something from their past negatively affect them even if the talent is something worth acknowledging. TS & Thesis Grade 5/10 CD Grade 9/10 CM Grade 5/10 CS Grade 6/10 Sample #3 Sometimes people lie, not only to protect themselves but others. Atticus does not want to be known by the people of Maycomb in a negative way. Atticus doesn’t want everyone to think that he feels better than others because “folks don’t like to have somebody around knowing more than they do. It aggravates them” (126). If Atticus let everyone know that he is a sharpshooter, others might think poorly of him or get the wrong idea. Instead of gloating about his given talent, he decides to hide it for the protection of his family. Lies are told that “ain't honest, but its mighty helpful to folks” (200). Sometimes you have no choice to lie, for the benefit of yourself and others. A lie may not always have a negative effect on people, so sometimes it is okay. Just because it is not the truth, does not mean it is bad. TS & Thesis Grade 6/10 CD Grade 7/10 CM Grade 5/10 CS Grade 5/10 long intro
sweet then bad strange is strange Is strange bad? when people think of strange they think of some horrific unknown but is it really bad? Strange is both sweet and sour. It is sweet because it is unknown and new but also bad because it could be something terrible. Something strange is thought of as bad but you never know. the long melancholy notes show sadness and regret. The singer speaks of sweet things along with bad things. QUESTIONS: 1. How is childhood more powerful than old age? 2. How do the beliefs of a society affect an individual's beliefs? 3. How does poverty affect people’s upbringing, motivation and life goals? GRANDE CHUNK The mindset of a community is stronger than the opinion of a single person, and these morals hang over the town waiting to break and fall. This, breathing down the neck of any citizen, does affect a person individual opinion. Even the nicest people, like Mr.Cunningham, crack when peer pressure becomes too much, and it takes time to “[slowly awake them] to the fact”of the matter(143). People don't always try to do wrong, the influence of these society morals is like a deadly drug, and it takes a mile long rope to pull them out. A major human flaw is how with so little persuasion, people will go along with anything, even if they truly don’t agree. Even with the knowledge of the lies that come from gossiping and biases, people are still imprisoned by this. People segregate and think that just because “they [have] their [things] and we [have] ours” doesn’t mean that its okay to shut doors to people different from what a person is use to(112). differences in people is the greatest barrier. Skin color, gender, age, language, wealth and religion cause gaps between different people and they see different through fear filled eyes. They prepare for the worst when that not often the case. Communities need to be a whole, and not split up by differences. GRANDE RE-WRITE The world around a person completely affects, changes, and decides what a person becomes, but the world around a child decides their entrie character, life goals, and morals. If poverty is an issue though, then people go to ways. One way is that they try harder and "[pay] with what they [have]"(25). Even in poverty, people can still hold their heads up high. They will set goals, hope for the best and are ultimately the most motivated people because they want their life to be the best it can possibly be. Those who have always had a lot don't get what it is like to be with out. Another way people go when they are without, is they turn mean and give up on trying to get a better life. They don't care about anyone, become isolate and don't complete "an honest days work in their life"(77). People will shut them selves down and out of the world around them. People who reach out to them are just shunned away because they are blind to what is wrong. They become mean and greedy. The surroundings of a person changes who h “A fool's paradise.”(2.4.159), Nurse
Google doc link https://docs.google.com/a/students.svsd410.org/document/d/1rQiufibw2woJ1oEA05DYWl7jclpwha4yNR2pgzpVrzM/edit
DAY 1 We spent time talking in class and watching different versions of R+J and compared them. DAY 2 I did some brainstorming and CD harvesting I didn't start timing at the beginning but it took me the whole class period to collect quality CD and to create some good CMs DAY 3 I created a detailed outline of my essay and started my RD 13 Words... Looking into the eyes of him, the person she wasn't proud of anymore. Insults... Flee flying no good hot singner The goosiest mafoo that ever a lead hearted lucarniaced 1. What role did you play in the creation of the letter? I helped write the intro paragraph, revised the thesis, supplied CDs and helped revised the conclusion.
I learned the importance of communication in a society. I am still not sure if we should have changed it to our main focused or not, but I am starting to understand. I think that people will agree with our letter because communication is such an important part of todays lifestyle and nothing cna There once was a beautiful, majestic, lovely old women who had many fluffy, cute cats.
CD-(hackschooling)preparing us for a career not a life
CD-(brain rules)-activity helps the brain think CD-http://www.necsi.edu/research/management/education/teachandlearn.html (Changing in the teachingand learning process in a complex education system)(byMiriam Bar-Yam, Kathleen Rhoades, Linda Booth Sweeney, Jim Kaput, and Yaneer Bar-Yam in Complex Systems Perspectives on Education and the Education System, New England Complex Systems Institute (2002) Paragraph A change needs to be made in the education system along with our changing society. With a new mind set we have "{rapidly changed and increased complexity [that] presents [a]new challenge and puts [a] new demands on our education system"(Changing in the teachings and learning process in a complex education system).People need to make a change to see a change. The pressure on the education system to be better is making the work harder and more stressful. Then in Brain Rules the class learned that a brain is more functional when it is active. Instead of sitting all day in a class, going out and being active while learning would to give us a positive change. There are really simple changes that can be made to improve life for everyone. Finally in Hackschooling he talked about how the school systems are only preparing us for a career not a life. We should grow up to be happy and healthy, not just being brought up for a job. If this change was made people would be happier, be more efficient, and could fix the education system. These changes would give many improvements to the education system. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ck-tQt0S0Os&feature=youtu.be http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h11u3vtcpaY&feature=youtu.be . |
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